you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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