Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
