i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
