On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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