ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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