Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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