Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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