its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
