just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
