Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
