he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
