my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
