Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
