Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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