Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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