Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
even my farts smell like vagina
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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