Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sobbing to NWA
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
