ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
