First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize