i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
my poor anus
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
