I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
