yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
