Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
