I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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