Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
