We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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