we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
