oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
