fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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