So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
