Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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