well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
