He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
