I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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