i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
