I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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