Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
