oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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