I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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