so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
