can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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