are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize