My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize