you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
