good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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