lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
