If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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