it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
