I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
