So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
if i died would you start the facebook group?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize