Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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