Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
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Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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