i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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