Where is the hickey?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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