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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  I feel so bad for your roommate

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• (716): View more from New York

  You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"

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• (+48): View more from Poland

  We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?

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