Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
