I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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