my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
is it fun? or sober?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize