I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
