Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
