your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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