you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
