I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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