no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
