So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize